Archive for August, 2008

August 28, 2008

Philomena Flies (and so do I)

Like Philomena, I’m flying away.
For how long? — I can’t say.

Blame it on the computer!


My two-year-old PC has been freezing and crashing and losing its mind for a great deal of time. Minor problems started as early as last year, but recently they’ve grown bigger and more annoying; they’ve joined forces and have become a HUGE pain in my peace & love derrière.

So off it goes to the repair shop, today.
The computer, not the derrière.

Following the tech guy’s report on the condition my computer’s in, I will take a long look at the big picture; and when I say “big picture,” I mean the not too distant future.

I want to get into podcasting — eventually have my very own online radio show — so I need to VISUALIZE + ATTRACT + MANIFEST an iMac. I want a mean machine equipped with all the cool tools so I can record and mix and even conduct interviews.

And in order to get the ball rolling…to ease myself into podcasting…I’ve been working on a new website — MUDDINYOURFACE — that will somehow compliment this Oza blog as it will give the Mudd in me a chance to express herself more freely…in English only.

It’s going to be in blog format, exclusively dedicated to short audio messages. Funny ones, deep ones, silly ones, whatever.
Daily blurts of the subconscious mind.

So off I go into the great blue yonder.
Flying over the rainbow…where dreams
really do come true.


August 25, 2008

Kitty – My First Friend

As I was saying in a previous post, I did a lot
of sitting in the first year and a half of my life,
which explains why I started to get bored at a
very young age.


It’s a good thing I had Kitty.


Kitty was a bull terrier.

Maybe not bull terrier through and through — you can tell she probably had some other breed in her — but whatever pedigree or lack thereof, she was my very first friend.


I remember my mom telling me, when I was about seven or eight, how Kitty helped me learn how to walk. She said I would grab onto Kitty’s short coat of hair and follow her as she slowly dragged me through the house or around the balcony.

Hearing this story for the first time, at seven or eight, I found it quite funny and cute. But once I dove into depression, at thirty and forty and fifty, the anecdote turned into a sad, gloomy, soul crippling tragedy. It meant that my mom had been SO busy that she hadn’t even bothered to guide me as I took my first steps on this planet. The word abandonment was a popular one when discussing my early childhood with my therapist.


Now that I’m healed (stand up and shout HALLELUJAH!)
I’ve gone back to finding the story funny and cute.

I can finally appreciate how patient Kitty was with me,
and how much she must have loved me. It fills me with
joy each time I think of her…my very first friend.

Question du jour:
Did you have a special friend when you were a toddler?

August 21, 2008

Tomato Blues

Posted in drawings, my story

My mom was always busy doing the housework.
She never stopped, except to feed me, wash me,
and put me to bed.


In the summer, she would plump me down on a blanket,
in the garden, and then she’d leave me there,
sitting with the tomatoes.

I did a lot of sitting in the first
year and a half of my life.
And that’s when I started
to get bored.

August 20, 2008

Not Quite Potted…

Posted in big purge

…but still rooted.

I met this sunflower, yesterday, on my way to a friend’s house.
I know exactly how it feels.


As soon as I’m done digging through my past,
I’m going to get out of my hole
and fly!

Are you stuck in a hole?