Archive for the aha! moments category

May 12, 2015

this morning’s reflections over peanut butter toasts


This morning’s reflections
over peanut butter toasts:

The strong must help the weak.

What if I’m stronger
than I think I am?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

August 10, 2012

Book of Comments

Had an aha! moment today after commenting on Lori Stone’s blog post, shifting the mood: Why not write a book of comments?

I will.

And I want to make sure no one steals my idea, so the title to this post serves as copyright.

Be warned!

Stay tuned for the first comment…
coming to you online real soon!



July 26, 2012

Dark Side Of The Mudd (hey… it was too easy)

I couldn’t sleep. It was half past one.

I had shut the windows because of the nauseating odour outside; it was hot and sticky, and the nauseating odour was now trapped inside.

I was mad.


But I was already mad before it started to smell.

I had gone to bed at midnight; it was a new habit of mine — I wanted to quit staying up till 5, 6, 7 in the morning, and then sleeping till 11 and not getting enough sunlight. I had been successful at it for a whole week, but last night I was restless. I was mad.

I tried listening to a meditation cd but a bug kept flying recklessly around my head and crashing into my face.

I went to the bathroom, had a pee, looked at myself in the mirror and said, “I am grateful I don’t own a gun.” I laughed.

Instead of going back to the foam mattress on the floor, I grabbed my laptop and headed for the couch.

I checked my emails; a Facebook friend had sent me a private message:

Just wondering… are you always a positive kind of person? And if so, does it come naturally to you? I sort of battle against negativity and yet I am a happy kind of person. A strange combination!

Talk about timing.

I answered:

Always positive? I try. VERY HARD. Because it ain’t easy. Ha!

Does it come naturally? Ironically, YES. I’m basically a happy-go-lucky, fun-loving, lover-of-life person. But you know what? I’m having more and more difficulty dealing with people. With stupidity. With non-understanding. With non-compassion. ARRRRRGH!!!

So yeah, I battle with negativity also. Actually, I battle with EXPRESSING my negativity. Which is why I should start writing about negativity and drawing about it and just plain putting it out there — MUDD iN YOUR FACE is probably going to help me blurt out a few things.

I’m coming through as pretty damn negative at the moment, aren’t I? LOL. My rock ‘n’ roll side needs to shine!!!

Minutes later, I sent her a P.S.:

Just so you know, the source of my present battle with negativity is a financial one. Since I’ve struggled all my life with depression, I’ve ended up broke after a downhill ride with jobs. So now that I’m free of depression and ready to rock, my energy is at its lowest and this affects my will to pull myself out of the hole.

After being super strong all my life, I’m finding it hard to keep up. Guess I’m tired. Make that “worn out.” And to see everyone around me living the good life is kinda… well… you know. So yeah, I really REALLY need to pull myself out of this rut and GET ROLLING. As soon as my darn B12 and thyroid are regulated, I should have more energy and all that jazz.

And then P.S. NUMERO DOS:

Me again! You’ll wish you never asked me that question.

So you got me thinking, and the answer is YES — I’m always positive!

Phew… feels really good to realize this.

Then what’s my problem?

I’m MAD.

Mad at my present condition.

Mad that I can’t get out of it quickly.

Mad at a whole bunch of other things, too.


Thanks for helping me clear this up.

And that, folks, was my aha! moment, last night.

Yours truly,
Mad Mudd


July 1, 2012

the creative process



The above quote gave me a big fat aha! moment, this morning. 
It was a soothing balm after yesterday’s blah-ha moment.  

My blah-ha feeling came from reading Marilyn Robertson’s blog post, “Creative Habits, Work Environment and Tools of the Trade.” I was blown away by the grasp she has on her ‘creative powers’ — she seems so together, so grounded, so comfortable with her artist self.

The more I read, the more it struck me:
I don’t know who the hell I am!

So I ate an extra large bowl of chocolate-banana ice cream. Then I made myself a huge bowl of popcorn and watched the movie Inception.

Wow, what a movie — LOVED it. Found myself wishing I could ‘dream’ that way. Then thought about re-reading “The Art of Dreaming” by Carlos Castaneda. Then got scared because I know how far my mind can go. Then went back to reading “Zen and the Art of Stand-Up Comedy” in order to get my mind off my mind.

Don’t get me wrong, dear reader and especially Marilyn, I’m not at all discouraged; quite the contrary. I’m grateful to be, at almost 62, living on the edge of insanity… on the brink of discovering who I am.

Damn right!